You have a wonderful relationship and you want to raise a baby since you feel ready to become parents. Talk to your partner and explore what this process can bring to you both and make sure you aren’t motivated chiefly by any wrong reasons to adopt. Our adoption specialists will always discuss your motivations to adopt with you before you commit to our adoption program. Save a marriage. Many couples think “Why not adopt a child? Adoption is a difficult, lifelong journey for all involved — adoptive parents, birth parents and adoptees. Children have many ways to make friends and find companionship, like through school and other activities. I hear people saying right or wrong reasons to adopt in a lot of questions. Choosing to adopt a child is not a way to “repay a debt” to society or to indulge martyr tendencies. It’s not a decision that should be made lightly and certainly not one to be made just because someone you know had a good experience with it. However, deciding to adopt simply because it seems like “the thing to do” is a terrible motivation. Given the large number of orphaned children in the world, I can see no reason why people should create children. But do you know there are a lot of other reasons that convince couples to Adopt a Child. If you are lonely, consider joining a new activity or getting a pet before you decide to bring a lifelong member into your family. Because of this, every hopeful parent’s motivations will be slightly different. Adoptive parents come from all different backgrounds and lifestyles, and no two families have encountered the exact same circumstances on their path to choosing adoption. Most of the children up for adoption have been taken away from their … But you should never adopt a child because someone pressures you to … It’s natural for your loved ones to offer advice when you’re facing infertility or similar struggles, but how and when you choose to move forward will be entirely up to you and your spouse. You want to “save” a baby. Here are some of the common reasons to adopt a child today: 1. Not sure where to go or how to ask for help. Fertility problems, trouble in conceiving due to a late marriage are problems that might hinder begetting. 5 Reasons Why Positive Adoption Language is Important. As of January 2nd we currently have 3 spots available! As of January 2nd we currently have 3 spots available! Adding another member to your family should not be the first solution for a child who appears lonely. Children don’t need to be brought into a family that thinks saving is what they need. 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Angel Adoption, Inc. is an independent contractor and provides services under the supervision of Lutheran Child and Family Services of Illinois, License #012998, One Oakbrook Terrace, #501, Oakbrook Terrace, IL 60181; 708-771-7180. While altruism is certainly beneficial to the world, it will not sustain you and your family through all the difficult parts of raising a child. Trust has always be a major issue. The vast majority of adoptions are successful and the experience of ordinary family life gives children the opportunity to … This will help you determine whether adoption is really the right path for your family. This will inevitably lead to greater issues down the road and will negate the positive intentions and spirit in which the adoption […] Is Adoption the Right Choice For Your Fa ... your partner isn’t totally ready to adopt, Closed or Open Adoption? To move past your infertility, you may wish to rush straight into adoption, believing a child will solve whatever other problems you have in your relationship. At Motherlode, lead writer and editor KJ Dell’Antonia invites contributors and commenters to explore how our families affect our lives, and how the news affects our families—and all families. It got me thinking what are the wrong reasons to adopt? As of January 2nd we currently have 3 spots available! Adoption (let’s say it again for those in the back) is a complicated journey filled with emotional ups and downs. We're all living the family dynamic, as parents, as children, as siblings, uncles and aunts. Adoption is more than a passing craze; it’s a lifelong commitment to your adopted child and to their birth parents. It falls into the same category of “saving” a child. Our editorial team sat down with AdoptTogether mom Tacy Riehm to discuss some of the misguided reasons that parents have adopted in the past. The orphanages were questionable; children were placed first locally, then nationally, and it was only then, when they were often several years old, that Americans could adopt them. There are a million good reasons to adopt, but there are also some other reasons that you should give some thought to before adopting to make sure you are entering the process emotionally prepared and ready to give the best life you can to the child you adopt. It’s always wonderful to want your child to have a sibling, whether through adoption or another family-building process. https://adoption-beyond.org/facebook-groups-adult-adoptees/, https://www.americanadoptions.com/adopt/why-people-adopt, 7 Ways to Incorporate Adoption into Your Holiday Traditions, ‘We Wouldn’t Change a Thing’: Jill’s Christmas Adoption Story. It is a big risk to adopt a child because so many adoptions break down. Required fields are marked *, Call anytime, an adoption professional is here to help. They may not be able to have children of their own, due to infertility or disability. If you adopt a child from the welfare system, the child will most likely be over the age of three. Adoption should be a family-building process that you’re 100 percent excited for, rather than just your last option. All of us wish for a home where we can hear the wind chimes in the form of our kid’s voices. A child is not there to keep you company; you are the one there to care for them. Therefore, they decide to adopt children an unfortunate child – which is, in fact one of the most touching ways of serving a social cause. We wish you the best of luck moving forward! Just as there are countless reasons people choose to have a baby, there are numerous reasons you might choose to adopt. As adoptive parents, if you have an interest in helping a child heal from past grief and pain, whether this comes from abuse, neglect, being abandoned, or orphaned, then you have the right motivations for adopting a child. 1) You have lost a pregnancy or a child and think adopting will heal that wound While adoption is generally viewed as a largely positive period of time in a person’s life, as with most things, there are some people who might be doing it for the wrong reasons. © American Adoptions Blog 2021. "When you decide that you're going to adopt a child, it's a journey of faith," Harris said. For this reason many couples adopt a child. Increased focus on work is making people marry late and this, to a certain extent, affects the ability to conceive. Other people will choose to adopt to prove a point or to show how “caring” and “loving” they are, without actually having any interest in the children. They likely share the feelings you do and can help you through them. Prospective parents can then determine if they have one of these reasons for adoption, and a prospective birth mother can use them to understand more about the kinds of people she can choose to adopt her child. Adoption is not always all puppies and unicorns; it is a challenging, lifelong journey that you should be 100 percent committed to — difficult aspects and all. You see many people today (including celebrities) deciding to add to their family in this non-traditional way, breaking down the “normal” family stereotypes that exist. Some pre-adoptive families may feel pressure from friends or family members to adopt a foster child who has been placed in their home. In the meantime, keep reading to find out some of the most common misguided reasons that people think adoption is best for them. I lived my adopted parents, but never felt liked I belonged. Saving children. The following is a list of wrong motives to adopt: Because everybody is doing it (children should not be a fad) To have someone who will love you back (not every child may want to reciprocate your love and affection—initially anyway) Your biological clock is ticking (not good motivation for adoption) Similarly, if you have an only child, adoption is not the go-to answer for loneliness for them, either. What is the "wrong" reason(s) to adopt a child? Could you provide examples of Good reasons to adopt? Desire to give a child a family ... You also need to be financially secure in order to be able to adopt a child comfortably. However, unless you choose an option like foster care adoption, your adoption process will cost you much more than you would receive with the adoption tax credit. I was adopted at birth I was hours old when my mother handed me over to a stranger. Here’s a list to consider: https://adoption-beyond.org/facebook-groups-adult-adoptees/ You might also think about finding a therapist who is experienced in adoption-related trauma to work through these emotions. Although the most basic reason is a desire to build or expand a family, the specific reasons that motivate each adoption vary. Transnational Adoption Transnational adoption - “the legal transfer of parental rights and responsibilities from a child’s birth parent(s) or other guardian to a new parent” (Bureau of Consular Affairs 2017) across national borders - is a widely disputed, yet prevalent practice of the past half-century. Most of the reasons are good ones, but some are really bad ones. To relieve these fears, they may consider bringing another child into their home through private infant or foster care adoption because they are unlikely to have another child naturally. Many adoptive parents love children and always envisioned themselves as parents. 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