Sometimes the most sophisticated professionals can’t come close to articulating things as powerfully as youth who have grown up in the foster care system. I put my head down and cried. Or both. Growing Up in the Foster Care System: Kristina’s Story Posted on June 17, 2015 by Plummer Youth Promise. Over and over again. She spat on the two leftover cupcakes and then threw them away. I only ever got half my work done and I started getting into trouble for falling asleep in class. We only found out her name was Kyrie after we had a sub in science who she didn’t tell in time. I remember being six and moving from my first ever foster home where I had lived for two years. Many of these children have been silenced about the traumas they’ve suffered at the hands of neglectful caseworkers and horrible foster parents. Our DCFS foster care worker changed three times and all three women were professional, courteous and conscientious. However I volunteer as a counselor with this age range (and older, up to 17) and these kids are just kids. This thread is archived. Trigger warning: This story deals with a personal account of a foster care experience that may be triggering for some readers. My worst experience, if I had to name one, was when a four-year-old that was a foster sibling of mine dragged me by my hair across the living room, giving me carpet burn and a bald spot that lasted a few years. I instantly knew Eve was in harm, so I ran to the staff that worked there to see if she was ok. I live in Canada and I don’t know if other places have this, but we something called “respite”. I was eventually convinced that going against my parents is the worst thing a child can do, so I lied for them. I adopted a little boy that had just turned 5. I’m going to keep this short, but I have vivid memories of the grandmother basically dragging me by one arm on multiple occasions up and down these huge stairs when no one else was home. The first time I went into foster care I was seven years old. I ended up jumping in between them and throwing my arms out in a T-shaped pose until staff eventually pulled the criminal girl away. If I was in trouble, I had to write my apologies to God hundreds of times. Foster Kids Share Their Worst Orphanage Horror Stories. She has got more guts than me. Get daily updates, kick-ass content, and curated recommendations. The scariest part was having a younger sibling when threats to harm her were the norm. It was full of insects, spiders, and even a snake. You just want quiet, and you are really ok being alone. I was not part of the foster care system, but I live next to a foster home for minorities and mentally disabled kids, I can see everything happening in their backyard from my windows. It was like a light had been shut off in my Momma. One of the most harrowing stories of foster care abuse is the story of Girl X. Like, nobody knew where she went. I remember the foster parents told us they had a surprise for us for Christmas. I remember crying almost every day and being in trouble for it. Some have siblings. The views and opinions expressed in the Real Stories are On those days, hygiene is all of a sudden a priority, rehearsed speeches and quizzing are the most attention received to date, and the home is filled with the smell of a slow-cooking stew. These stories are coming out in the wake of a damning letter from the Foster Family Coalition of the Northwest Territories to the N.W.T. The smell was so unbelievably strong. I dropped out of school a week later. I moved in with this couple freshmen year of high school, I actually ended up staying the whole way through. These stories are supposed to help you decide if adoption is the right fit for you and your family. I stayed in that home for years, there were many nights that I just felt so lonely; I’d cry myself to sleep. I was locked out of the house (on a farm, 20 kilometers from town) during summer for up to 3 days at a time, with no food or anything to drink. Our judge was so ruthlessly efficient that he intimidated the lawyers and social workers assigned to our case to move as quickly as possible. The woman wasn’t always too nice to me though. Take your training classes. That was probably the worst I was treated during this whole period. Scared Parents Revealed The Creepiest Things Their Kids Ever Said, ‘They’re Not Who You Think They Are.’ People Share Their Crazy Double-Life Stories. The boys I was sleeping with every night scared me by telling me about ghosts and whatnot. This gripping tale by prolific horror novelist, Holly Riordan, will keep you on the edge of your seat! I almost failed my classes in high school because 10 teen girls in a three-bedroom house with two staff members and one van meant getting home from everybody’s appointments and grocery shopping and stuff at 8 p.m. Nobody was allowed to be in their rooms until bedtime, so no homework got done until 10 p.m. under my sheets with a flashlight. They all were so nice to us, we didn’t stay there long. This happened a couple of times. Now in my 30s, I’ve made a handful of awesome friends that are a huge help, but it took me a while to learn how to have a healthy relationship. A quick glance at her arms and you could see dozens and dozens of scars running up her forearms, some thin and silvery other deep, angry and purple. Many have ADHD, some have PTSD and/or associated issues like bedwetting/enuresis, and the like, but honestly they are almost all wonderful kids. My aunt took me in and wanted to adopt me (she’s amazing). The most horrific part of this story is that the women who took care of these children knew about this, yet they did absolutely nothing to stop them. Child Protective Services in New York City strongly supported her gaining legal custody of me. My Home Ec teacher did a fundraiser and sold cupcakes during class, and a girl at my table bought three. About three weeks before the school year ended, she disappeared. I honestly don't remember how many foster homes I was in over the years, but more than 15. My biological mother was autistic (very high-functioning) but also suffered from extreme depression. Our two came into Care @ 15mo/4mo and they both were traumatized by what happened in their home and then being moved to complete strangers. Unfortunately, the rest of Korea was not as kind. This was all because when she told one kid to go to her car and grab something, apparently I didn’t get the memo that I wasn’t supposed to go and that’s the reason why all that stuff happened. They are hurt people, often traumatized, and have additional struggles because of those things. They outed me as the culprit for literally no reason and made me blow up an ENTIRE pool, with a hole in it, using just my mouth for literally 4 or 5 hours in the middle of the 100-degree summer. This one was a lot worse. We have a lock on our bedroom door. One of the first homes was the worst one. Of course, the great state of Kansas put us in different homes. However, when I started in school my then teacher took me in. I was also in foster care before that, but they didn’t threaten to get rid of me, they just did it one day without any prior warning. The mother didn’t let the “foster kids” into our room until it was bedtime. Think about all the horror stories you hear regarding FKs and FPs. It was cold and wet 9 months out of the year. A foreign adoption seemed our … These kids have been through enough. I was kept in a tiny closet with a bare cot, no light, and given a PB&J sandwich once a day. I was honestly concerned, after reading so many horror stories, that surely something WILL happen eventually (i.e. Something about the cadence of his words, the staccato of his speech. So when I cried, I had to do it in the living room in front of everyone. The bullying from other kids and at school was awful just because of my negative background. Wouldn't you think you knew better how to survive your situation than these adults? All kids have issues. Oftentimes, foster kids end up in homes that neglect their basic needs, deny them love, and reject their humanity. Right now, I’m slowly repairing the damage that was done by just my parents but there is so much more I’m struggling with. Girls would constantly steal anything nice I got. Some have anger/defiance issues but wouldn't you if you were abused/neglected and then moved about? This girl, who didn’t know better, dragged me about 14 feet and none of her older siblings or my foster mom did anything about it. It’s rough man. 3) Another year for Christmas, the family didn’t want me there, so I was sent to a temporary house for the holidays. Their tales give us a true glimpse into the horrors of the foster care system. I had to go to other peoples’ houses and the schools to wash. No one is saying that a push for “foster care … I became a crown ward within the system at a young age, essentially was that the government was my ‘legal guardian’. One night, I think my first or second night being there, she woke me up at 1 a.m. to scream at me and accuse me of using her toothbrush. It will work for some, not for others. I was too scared to go to the bathroom, so I tried to pee out the window. For an entire year, I wasn’t allowed to sit on the couch. I have an awesome best friend whose mom begs me to come for holidays, but I usually choose to work because it just feels weird. It was Christmas Eve, and I tried my best to stay up to watch for Santa, but all I could smell was pee. It depends on what kids you are dealing with, and as everyone has said, when dealing with traumatized kids, you have to expect behavior problems. Prior to that, my lunchbox was a bread bag. My brief opinion of your fears is this; If you have considered foster care/adoption because of what you can do for the kids, you will likely be successful with effort, time, love and patience, and by successful, I mean happy with your choice. Foster kids are no worse than foster parents. The third and final foster care was the best one out there. She ate one, then looked me in the eye and said she was too full to eat the others. If I didn’t eat my food, I had to stay the night at the kitchen table. Instantly concerned, I ran into her room and what greeted me is what I’d imagine a murder scene would look like. I lived with them for the rest of my childhood, but I spent every Sunday at Momma’s. Kids of reddit who were a part of the foster care system, what are some of your horror stories? One time, in particular, I was 14 or 15, I asked if I could get a nose piercing and she replied, “If you get a nose piercing, we’ll send you back.”. When stressing over something, use the 10-10-10 rule. When I was in foster care both me and my little sister were beat up by other foster kids and biological children to the multiple foster parents we stayed under. I no longer live there, but my parents still do. My bus arrived too late to get school breakfast. I was placed in foster care after turning in my parents for extensive abuse at 16. A laptop (it was a school laptop) and so many clothes. Will it matter in 10 days? I can't give you much help since we've only had him a year but it has been one of the best, most blessed years. share. When I came out with all my things packed, the social worker said that Momma’s adoption process had been stalled and he found family members for me to live with. Some of their stories are almost unbelievably cruel, but they aren’t fictional. He told me to pack everything up. He had a lot of strange food things for a while – like finding it weird that all the kids in the house would just help themselves to food if they were hungry – even fruit, like ‘woah you’re just going to eat that apple?’. ©2021 Adoption.com LLC, a service of The Gladney Center for Adoption. The foster-care system ultimately wants to place children with relatives, and since our aunt was now older and in a better position to take care of us, that’s what happened. Marian adopted 3 children from foster care in the UK. I was small enough that no one messed with me really, but I missed my mom a lot and didn’t understand why I couldn’t go back home with her. I guess they felt a bit hopeless, but they allowed us to leave (there was some disciplinary action taken later against staff and girls for it). r/AskReddit - CPS workers of reddit, what was the worst case you have seen? Youngest not too much older and used to threaten he would hurt us. One night I woke around 2 in the morning feeling like something was off. She forced me to let her bathe me even though I knew how to bathe myself as any normal eight-year-old does. We were physically abused and starved half-to-death. Once a fight broke out when one of the criminal girls attacked my foster friend, and the staff just sat back for a couple minutes to watch before intervening. For Christmas, another family made us watch their kids get awesome presents while my sister and I got their secondhand clothes as gifts. As in, sitting in a bathtub with someone else you hardly knew. I went to live with my Momma (her name) when I was 10 months old. Also, being unsure about everything having an unstable mom didn’t really help either. I cried myself to sleep. . I was shocked. Good times. There was a resident fruit bat in the main room of the barn. She was 4 years old. We also didn’t have hygiene products during this time so I stank and wore dirty clothes. For information on adoption from the foster care system, visit the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. If you can, I highly recommend volunteering with foster kids in some capacity. We have a locking mailbox because mail was disappearing -- obviously nothing from school ever got to us -- and we were worried about bills and identity theft. That said, learn more! The stories are written by the youth, for the youth. Florida ex-foster care child here, so strap in boys and girls. I wasn’t allowed to shower. Users of Adoption.com agree to the Abuse and negligence was an everyday occurrence, and I had no idea that abuse wasn’t normal. She was into anime and came to school cosplaying every once in a while. Then my toenails got infected and they still are. I grew up in foster care from the age of 2-17. I can’t form normal relationships, affection scares me, and I can’t remember the last time I was happy. There was a divide in the house: us and them. The piece below, by 21 year old Kristina, is a perfect example. They have learned not to trust. She was a weirdo, but lots of fun to hang out with. I was so young, but some memories will never leave. I really do. I hadn't heard all the "horror" stories that i hear now about adopting older kids before i adopted him. I live in fear. He stuck his finger in the kid’s gift bag, looked in, and inquired about what they got. Before school got out for break she made sure the kid got the stuff that was inside the bag. 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