O. 5. _________, How long have you been going together? The couple must express a desire to be in God’s Word on a regular basis and to worship and fellowship with other believers. With no prior prompting, have the bride tell you the groom’s testimony of his faith! A. their life together. It is important for couples to spend the necessary time planning and equipping themselves for This meeting usually takes about ten minutes and happens on a Sunday just prior or just after a service. ________________________________________________________________________________________, How long have you known each other? _________________________________________________________________________________________ Give some reasons why you want to marry your fiancé. L. Have either of you been “in love” before? Date, . Adam did not a take a wife; he received one from God! The basics of marriage. If yes, how many times? Encouraging maturity and speaking the truth in love are your responsibilities as part of the body of Christ, and in this case, as Pre-Marriage Counselor. The gift of money management is sometimes lacking in a newly married couple. Have them consider the following Bible texts dealing with vows: Numbers 30:2; Deuteronomy 23:21-23; Judges 11:29-40; Psalms 15:4; 76:11; Proverbs 20:25; Ecclesiastes 5:4-5. Sports, TV, shopping, and other boundaries and limitations that can be Once needs are evaluated, the couple and pastor will go over the basics of marriage. Both partners need to keep an open mind and be willing to change things that aren't working. Tell the groom you are expecting leadership from him in this area and that it is now time to start demonstrating it! We do not claim to be “Professional” Counselors. If you were a novice at Pre-Marriage Counseling before you started, by now you’re a bona-fide pro! __________________________________, If so, why?____________________________________________________________________, 4. Yes, you might be jumping into some hot water here, but this is one of the hard parts of being a Pre-Marriage Counselor. The Search OF the Savior: Why Jesus Came, Part 2 (Gal. Thoroughly review the Book of Proverbs and encourage the couple to heed the counsel found there. The primary source to help you in organizing your meetings will be William J. McRae’s book “Preparing for Your Marriage.” You, your spouse, and the couple you are counseling, should have a copy of this book. How do you feel you are accepted by your fiance’s family? 12. 1. office directs all wedding and pre-marriage counseling calls to pre-marriage coordinator. If by the end of the third meeting you are not ready to give your approval, by all means wait until you are. After the questionnaire has been submitted, an appointment will be made with the pastor. List any concerns about marrying your fiance. Christ is of course first, but no other decision will have as great an impact on one’s life as marriage. 13. Tell the couple that this final approval will not be given until after the third meeting. Lack of parental approval is a huge red flag! Premarital counseling is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage. ________, What are their ages? arise). Assessment Process: An assessment is made at this time of your readiness for sacramental marriage, and necessary documents are gathered. Pre-marriage counseling is often provided by professionals over the course of just a few short sessions. In this first meeting you will cover chapters one and two of “Preparing for Your Marriage.” If the couple has already set a wedding date, this meeting should take place approximately five months before the wedding day. 1. C. Does the couple seem to have an interest in spiritual things? Many professionals (therapists, clergy, and family law attorneys) would agree that premarital counseling is highly recommended before marriage. NOTE: We reserve the right to discontinue the counseling and planning process at any If the couple knows ahead of time they will be asked about their faith, they will have time to “prepare” an answer. How will you handle conflict or disagreements? The name is derived from John 2 :1–12, the wedding feast at Cana in Galilee , where Jesus performed the miracle of turning water into wine . Our offices are conveniently located just off of i75 at the big beaver exit. This guide is intended to assist you in planning and working through the counseling process with your couple. Should that be the case, rather that allow them to “wing it,” make this an assignment they will be ready to do at the next meeting. What potential problems do you anticipate in your marriage? ____________________________________ _____/_____/_____ are so many responsibilities and obligations to one another without jumping into a relationship that one may regret later. How do you want your spiritual relationship to improve? First, the men will talk, covering chapters 12-13, while the women remain silent and listen. Don't chat with bridesmaids, your mother, or anyone else about the things you've discussed, and don't even think about posting anything on Facebook that could embarrass your partner. For many couples, this will be unnecessary, but for others, it will be quite helpful. What follows is a guide for counselors to take a couple contemplating marriage, or engaged to be married, through a basic process of discovery. Some portions you may cover in a lecture format but most should be through discussion. At this first meeting a schedule for the mentoring process is determined. ________________________________________________________________________________________ Since you are postponing this requirement to the next meeting, this won’t be completed. 6. Therefore, as you and your spouse prepare for each meeting, with prayer and discernment decide which portions will be emphasized. Pre-marriage counseling is nothing to fear. Have you listened to cassette tapes on Christian marriage? 5 Steps for Successful Christian Marriage Counseling, by Dr. David B. Hawkins - Christian Marriage advice and help. How do other members of your family feel about your fiance? A Christian marriage is a lifelong building project that begins on the foundation of God’s Word. Christ is of course first, but no other decision will have as great an impact on one’s life as marriage. Remember, you will want to hear what God is teaching them through their study. The Atlanta Center for Marriages has an excellent pre-marital counseling program using the Prepare Inventory™. ________________________________________________________________________________________, If divorced, why was your previous marriage terminated? The Full Pre Marriage Counselling Course: Includes our comprehensive Pre Marriage Counselling Questionnaire that both of you complete + 2 x 50 minute counselling sessions with a relationship psychologist to discuss any issues or areas for improvement that may arise. At minimum, you should ask the couple to come to the next meeting with a complete budget, which will be reviewed and discussed. A. Biblical headship and leadership. Most pastors prefer more than one session to allow the counseling process to work as well as to allow the couples to ask additional questions. Since you are postponing this requirement to the next meeting, this won’t be completed. You also need to find out if they have been involved physically with others, and have they discussed it? Simply make yourself available to talk with them about issues like birth control, the wedding night, sex after marriage, etc. This insight will be very valuable as you prepare and conduct this session. C. A discernment of their maturity, both spiritually and emotionally. husband If so, how many and You shouldrealize that perfection also does not exist in a married life. C. Add the study of I Thessalonians 4: 1-8 to the homework assignment. B. ________________________________________________________________________________________, 2. 4. Few things are more profitable than men and women committed to the study of God’s Word as it relates to marriage, particularly in today’s society. : 1-8 to the couple is with the parents and siblings in this meeting prepared to cover question. 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